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Having a difficult childhood with your parents recently?
You may have spent some quality family time together over the holiday season. And, you realized that your parents (or grandparents) are struggling to live in their home. They need to move, downsize, rightsize, call-it-what-you-will. They need to get out of their home because it’s getting to be too much for them…. and you. Or perhaps this is your life?
Are you driving your husband’s/wife’s, kids’ and dog’s schedules around YOU being that good kid that your parents raised? It’s role reversal time. Now… when work is not 9-5, the kids have lessons and tutoring, you’ve hired a dog walker or take your dog to doggy daycare, while your refrigerator is running out of food and your spouse wonders why you don’t want to have sex and are irritable? The sandwich generation bites differently for Gen X’ers, boomers and seniors.
How do your parents not see that they’d be better off downsizing and living on one floor instead of trekking up and down stairs? Are they even using their entire house anymore? Are you waiting for that call “mom or dad fell down the stairs”? And, let’s face it you’d be better off as the designated or only child in town if they’d only give themselves a better life not tied to maintaining a house?
Why do you feel guilty that you want your parents to move? Is it long time guilt, cultural guilt or something else? Dig deep – what’s your trigger point? And, who can help you with the whole process of helping your parents get their heads around moving? Are you the child to bring it up or is your brother the “golden child” who your parents listen to? Either way, expect resistance – moving is often a horrible thought and it will take time to warm them up to it. Took a good 4 years and multiple people to convince my mother to move from a 3-storey town house to a 2 bedroom apartment. While she’s a pretty happy camper in this video the background getting her there was not so fun.
Parents don’t consider that they’ll have turn-key hassle-free independance with condo living or that seniors housing has unlimited built-in daily activities, evening entertainment, healthy prepared meals (if they’d like to cook less) and self care like a salon on site. Again, depending on the nature of your relationship perhaps you’re not the one who can deliver that message. Who do you need to enrol to help?
On Guard For Thee
If you’re an executive with enough on your plate at work and at home, how can you ensure some type of control getting the house “For Sale ready right through to Sold and living in their new place” yet not take on the multiple roles and full responsibility? Like business, it comes down to leverage and hiring the right talent for the job.
Working with seniors requires a high sense of empathy, ability to listen and and understand. You may not even realize your parents true fears and can’t “peel the onion” like someone who is not part of your family. Here are 8 Questions that an Accredited Seniors Agent will ask.
When it comes to real estate and working with families of senior clientele it isn’t for everyone. Selling your parents home of 25+ years is not like selling your own home and you may not “get it” when it comes to dealing with their needs. That’s ok. Co-qualify that Realtor. Meaning, you want to be in the room to ensure they can not only offer all of the many services that you’ll require to help your parents move but do so with sensitivities required for all in the process.
Barbara’s Testimonial and her son John’s testimonial speak to this very fact. While the quality is a little rough but we tend to concentrate on our real estate skills more than our testimonial video skills. Hope you don’t mind.
If you have questions we’ve been training for years and we’re ready to help because it’s never about four walls.